the beast is out

{taken from here, via here}

This is not going to be a happy post.  But it is going to be an honest update of my flatmate situation.

Sweet Andy has turned into a monster.  Over a month ago he approached me saying we needed to figure out whether we were "just flatmates" or "a couple who happens to live together", because it was driving him crazy not knowing.  We had a talk.  He wasn't sure what he wanted, because he *really* liked me, but he was worried that us living together would make the relationship too intense to quickly.  He said it was frustrating that we lived together, because if we didn't, we'd be dating and things would be perfect.  When asked what I wanted, I said I'd be happy if we dated.  I also said that either way we would be fine and that we'd be ok as long as we were considerate of each other during the transition.  I honestly thought we were both mature and caring enough.  Boy do I feel foolish.

About a week later, he started acting different.  Really cold and rude.  Then three weeks ago I confronted him about his behaviour, and we had a massive argument.  Turns out he'd decided - about the time his behaviour changed - not to date me.  But he hadn't told me.  He thought being mean to me would be "non-verbal cues", and he wouldn't have to have "the talk".  He also admitted to a couple of situations where he'd manipulated me and used my emotions for him against me to get what he wanted.  And then he couldn't understand why I was so upset.  He showed absolutely no remorse.

It's been horrible ever since.  He'd agreed to my friend Ez staying with us for a week, and then halfway through the visit he demanded that his rent be reduced!  Something which had never been discussed before (and which I refused, because of that).  Last night I finally told him that things weren't working out, and that he had to move.  Things have just gotten way too toxic, and I can't trust him any more (he's also refused to pay bills).  I've NO idea where this behaviour or change has come from, but it's not welcome in my life.

Turns out, though, that he's been looking for a place to live for the last three weeks.  He wasn't planning on telling me he was leaving until he'd found a place, and then he was only planning on giving me two week's notice!  Good thing I've got his deposit money! (It's my name only on the lease)  After a massive argument, in which he through all sorts of wildly untrue allegations my way and got even more petty than he's already been, and used some very personal stuff against me in a way that was just plain mean and hurtful, and called my tears "crocodile tears", we agreed that he's got 4 weeks, and his last day is June 6th.

The countdown begins.