yoga mat wisdom

For the most part, I don't love my yoga teachers.  I love my yoga - I've been doing it (on and off) for years.  But - aside from my yogi in Hong Kong, my yogi in Morocco (who has a blog), and a couple yogis here in Vancouver - I don't tend to love yoga teachers.  I find them too spiritually new-age, too ethereal, or just too phony.  But every once in a while, they'll say something inspirational.


The other day, one of my yoga teachers read something to us at the start of class.  She said she got it from a blog she follows, and I loved it so much - I found it so inspirational - that I hunted it down, printed it off, and put it on my fridge.  Everything of importance goes up on my fridge.  The blog entry is titled What's it going to take?, and you can find it here. 


In this blog entry, Danielle LaPorte writes "I wonder what my days would be like if I approached my happiness with more urgency and insistence (like I do deadlines and should-do's.)...So, in the spirit of urgent vitality, and not knowing when death may strike, and being acutely bored of my same old pattern of complaints, I'm asking myself, lovingly but firmly: LaPorte, what's it going to take for you to be incredibly joyful?"


What's it going to take?  


What a question.  


What an important question.  


Four months ago I entered into my first - and hopefully my last - real, debilitating depression.  I'm still working my way out of it, but I'm doing better.  I'm moving forward.  I'm moving.  I'm mobilized.


But those first few weeks were tough.  What's it going to take to get out of bed?  What's it going to take to shower?  What's it going to take to get dressed?  What's it going to take to eat?  Then,  what's it going to take to answer the phone?  What's it going to take to go outside?  What's it going to take to go (back) to work?  


I hadn't really thought about things this way until this blog post.  Now I find myself focusing on this question.  What's it going to take?  And my questions are getting bigger.  What's it going to take to finish the quilt I started?  What's it going to take to go to that party I was invited to?  What's it going to take to contact that voice coach I want to study with?  What's it going to take to have my friends over for dinner?  What's it going to take to buy myself flowers?  What's it going to take to heal?


What's it going to take to move forward?


What's it going to take.


Like LaPorte says, "I think it's going to take everything I've got."