guest blogger series ~ bethany, from rinse. repeat.

Bethany writes the beautifully lovely blog Rinse.  Repeat. , and she has a different take on homesickness.  Here is Bethany's experience with homesickness, and a few suggestions she offers up for dealing with it.

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They say home is where the heart is. But if that’s so, I’m not exactly sure where my home is…a piece of my heart is in Wisconsin, where I live…a large piece stays with my fiancé in Baghdad, and pieces of my heart are with my two best gal pals who live on the west coast. Geographically, my heart is all over the world.


I’ve spent the past year adapting to love at a distance. While it’s a smidge different than homesickness, in essence, it’s pretty similar: you’re learning to live far-removed from a piece of your heart. It’s tough—I won’t sugarcoat it. But with a little heartfelt effort, surviving long-distance love or a big move can get a tiny bit easier. Here are a few tricks I’ve learned along the way:


Send care packages…both ways. Save real face-to-face time together, nothing makes me happier than making care packages—sometimes they’re themed to celebrate holidays or big dates that are important to us…and sometimes it’s just a mishmash of things Gabe will love. Gabe doesn’t really have the ability to mail packages from Iraq, it’s slow and difficult with his schedule, but often he’ll pop online and send me a little book or treat with a cute note. Care packages should go both ways…if you’re far from home, send little pieces of your new world to your friends and family back home. They miss you, too!


Keep a clock with your hometown time. Gabe and I have phone apps that list the weather and time in both of our current cities, as well as our home in Sacramento. It sounds silly, but I love when Gabe says, “Whoa…it’s cold for you today! Wear a sweater!” His taking time to look at my world is so, so sweet to me. When we travel abroad and get lost in time changes, it’s nice to think about my family back home, or our best friends in Santa Cruz…and know what time it is in their world without having to count on fingers.


Plan creative Skype dates. I love to plan movie Skype dates with my guy. Here’s how it works: A day in advance we pick a movie, both rent or download it and also buy matching snacks, like peanut M&M’s or cheese popcorn. (Gabe can get both on the base!) Then, we hop on Skype at the same time and on the count of three press “Play”. We keep Skype going on our laptops with our movies in synch…it’s almost like being together. Or, as close as you’re gonna get with 6,000 miles between you.


If you’re far from home, you could easily set up your laptop + webcam in the kitchen and have a cookie- making date with your mom, then send half of your batch to each other. Or plan a Skype spa date with your closest gal pal…paint your nails and wear facial masks while swappin’ gossip. Even a crafting date with one of your creative friends. The point is…get creative. Spend time together, as close to face-to-face as you can.


Surround yourself with photos. For the first few months of my long-distance relationship, I failed at this. Hardcore. I didn’t have a single printed photo of us in my entire apartment. But I’ve now improved—placing framed photos in the places I spend the most time—by my desk, next to my bed and where I get ready in the morning. It keeps my heart warm on the days that my fiancé feels so, so far away.


But above all, the largest thing you can do is to give yourself credit. Homesickness and long-distance relationships take an emotional toll! Remind yourself that you’re extremely strong for making it through the experience. Allow yourself to miss home. It’s so healthy and natural. And yet while I miss Gabriel every single day, being at a distance has allowed me to tackle new projects and experiences that I wouldn’t have taken the time to embrace had he been right by my side. Remember to look at the positives, too: The new experiences and places you’re discovering. The growth you’re making. The person you’re becoming. How much more you appreciate those you miss.


There is a sunny side to the experience! You simply have to choose to see it.