a few honest words

I've never been one to shy away from honesty in my posts, and I'm going to tell you about two very profound and honest moments I have had in the last two weeks.  But first, have you heard of Ben Sollee?  If you haven't, you should really check him out.

Whew!  I just love all of his songs so much it was hard to chose which ones to post!  Anyway.  I'm going to tell you what I told him (Ben Sollee) tonight.  And it's extremely personal, so please be gentle with your comments.

To say my father and I are estranged is putting it nicely.  So when I heard that he (my father) was coming to Sydney for emergency eye surgery, I felt a whole roller coaster of emotion.  I hadn't seen my father in twelve years.  It's nothing I talk about with my family because, frankly, it's none of their business.  It's too private.  Yet it suddenly became their business when he showed up, and I felt all sorts of pressure to see him.  It was even orchestrated for me to go on a father-daughter date with him.

So I took him to a little venue in Sydney called "The Basement", and we saw a guy neither of us had heard of;  Ben Sollee.  A folk cellist.  Should be interesting, right?

Well!  It was AMAZING.  Ben is AMAZING.  Both as a performer and as a person.  My father and I were both completely captivated by his music and his ability to relate to his audience.  It was the first time we had ever bonded over anything.  Here we were, after twelve years, sharing something intangible that I'd longed for as a child.  And again, I was hit by a roller coaster of emotion.  Ben's lyrics washed over me and I felt....present.  With my father.  There was no past, there was no (lack of) future.  There was just us, in that moment, sharing joy for the first time.

And now my dad and I are speaking.  Tentatively, superficially, but as Ben told me, "at least now there's someone on the other line".

Dad has since gone back home, but I went to a second Ben Sollee concert tonight (his last in Australia).  By myself.  I had a glass of wine, let his beautiful performance wash over me again, and wondered at the events this past year that have lead me to where I am now.

I had the honour of speaking with Ben after the show, and telling him all of the above (but in a bit more detail).  Telling him how much his music means to me.  And it felt really good sharing that with someone - a stranger! - who has inadvertently been part of a very significant moment in my life.  I feel such a sense of inner peace tonight. (This is the second profound thing, by the way; my being able to share this with Ben.)

Here are three photos of Ben that I pulled off his Facebook page.  And yes, he is just as adorable in person as he is in his photos/videos.  More so, even, because his caring genuine-ness shines through.