paper panties.....

My last post was about my inability to use a squat toilet in 2005.  Well, I stumbled across yet another blast from the past: the very last mass email I wrote from Hong Kong, in 2007, before I returned to Canada.  So, again, I thought I'd share it with you.  :-)

So my friend Yuri and I decided to spend easter weekend in a Chinese town called Shenzhen.  We went to what they call a "sauna hotel". I would call it a kind of spa resort. It's this big building, you pay an entrance fee, you can stay as long as you want, and use their facilities at super cheap prices. "Facilities" include: multiple swimming pools, saunas, hot tubs, a games room and internet bar, about 20 different kinds of massages, manicures and pedicures, free fruit plates and drinks. If you spend the night (it's open 24hr), you can either rent a 'guest room' that's a really nice hotel room, or you can do something like a massage VIP room (which comes with two massage beds that you're allowed to sleep overnight in - after the massage - for a small fee), or you can just fall asleep in one of the big easy chairs in one of the communal massage rooms.

I had no idea what to expect. The outside of this spa looks like something that belongs in Vegas. It's very big, very tacky/showey, and very fake "mayan" themed. 

And because it was easter, all the girls who worked there had to wear pink bunny ears. 

Now, going to a "sauna hotel" is a very local Chinese thing to do, and you don't see many (if any) westerners in these places. The entire weekend I had virtually EVERYBODY staring at me. One person even pointed at me, eyes wide, and said "Waaah".

Ok, so it's obvious I don't speak the language, and I had no idea what to do. I was lead to the girl's changing room, and given a locker where I had to put everything I had inside. Then I was taken to a change room and handed a towel. I went inside, kept on my underwear and bra, and changed into the towel. Back to the locker to put my clothes away. Then to the showers, where I had to stand in line and smile and about 6 girls who would not stop gawking at me. This one very nice girl who spoke English spoke to me before she got into a shower. She asked me what I was doing at the sauna.

After the shower, I had no idea what to do. I kind of stood around for a few seconds looking like a lost puppy until one of the bunny girls took me to a change room. She handed me some pajamas (everybody wears these identical pajamas in the sauna - they kind of look like hospital geer with cutesy japanime animals on them) (I was xxxL, btw [I'm 5'5" and 135lbs]) and some paper underwear! I wasn't sure if I was supposed to wear the underwear instead of mine, or both, or what. I called the bunny girl over, and in overexaggerated mime tried to ask her what to do with the paper panties. She opened my towel (!), looked me up and down, and gave me a second pair!!! I was so confused by this point, I put the paper panties on over my own panties. In the end, I was wearing three pairs of underwear, these weird pajamas, and plastic flipflops. 

It was three hours before I discovered that I didn't have to wear the paper panties.

I took them off.

Yuri and I met up again in the common area outside the changeroom, and went and got foot massages. I swear, there's nothing as decadent as having hot chocolate, watermelon slices, watching a big screen TV, and getting a foot massage!

After that we rented a VIP Thai massage room, where we spent the night after our 3 hour thai massage.

3. Hour. Thai. Massage.

I've never hurt so much in my life. I do yoga regularly and I still didn't know I could stretch in ways she stretched me!

The next day and a bit was pretty much the same, except I got a pedicure and a neck/shoulder rub. And said no to the paper underwear.